When things just dont go to plan.

So I don't really know where I'm going to go to school next semester, I don't know who will eventually ordain me, and I don't know very much Hebrew...

Pretty much every plan I thought I had to get from here to the Navy is COMPLETELY up in the air. That's unsettling. Or is it? Who am I to plan something and expect those results over God. I'm in a fairly precocious place of knowing that God's way and plan are infinitely more glorifying and beneficial than my own plans, but I'm still uncomfortable with not knowing how exactly God will have me fulfill my call.

Its like watching a movie when you still don't really know if the main character will hit the home run, or get caught, or get killed by the murderer, and yet you still know that the story has to end well or a bunch of movie producers would have never backed it.

In this case its my life though, which adds to the apprehension.

Packer has written some truth that has helped me cling to biblical truths over my own need for fulfillment and comfort: "...the same wisdom that ordered the paths which God's saints trod in Bible times orders the Christian's life today. We should not, therefore, be too taken aback when unexpected and upsetting and discouraging things happen to us now. What do they mean? Simply that God in his wisdom means to make something of us which we have not attained yet, and he is dealing with us accordingly."

If you're feeling anything like I am in your life know this... God's reality is way more real than what we think we know. Read more Old Testament, God has dealt with the saints with a wisdom that is beyond our understanding since the beginning of time. Abraham, Jacob, Job all had to deal with things that they did not understand at the time, but are the foundation of the faith because of what God wanted from them.

God has a plan, trust that above all.

"God comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God" (2Corinthians 1:4).

Gadsby Monday's

893

If guilt pursue thee with its cry,
And would to prison hale;
To Jesus Christ, the Surety, fly,
And he will give in bail.

If hope, that used thy soul to cheer,
Now leaves thee dark as night,
And neither sun nor stars appear,
Yet wait for morning light.

Still look to Christ with longing eyes,
Though both begin to fail;
Still follow with thy feeble cries,
For mercy will prevail.

What if he drop no gracious smile,
Or bid thee leave his door?
Yet still knock on, and wait awhile;
He must receive the poor.

He tarries oft till men are faint,
And comes at evening late;
He hears and will relieve complaint:
'Tis ours to pray and wait.

(Habakkuk 2:3)

I even have culture in my anti-culture...

JI Packer digresses:

"The Christian's instincts of trust and worship are stimulated very powerfully by knowledge of the greatness of God. But this is knowledge which Christians today largely lack: and that is one reason why our faith is so feeble and our worship so flabby. We are modern people, and modern people, though they cherish great thoughts of themselves, have as a rule small thoughts of God. When the person in the church, let alone the person in the street, uses the word God, the thought is rarely of divine majesty

... We are poles apart from our evangelical forefathers at this point, even when we confess our faith in their words. When you start reading Luther, or Edwards, or Whitefield, though your doctrine may be theirs, you soon find yourself wondering whether you have any acquaintance at all with the mighty God whom they knew so intimately."

I have had some great conversations with some great reformed men this weekend, I also have had some challenging conversations at school with people who don't know God in the same way that I do, and that the scriptures show.

Here's the difference.

The men I respect I gain fellowship with in our cry to know God in His most Glorious. We are on our knees repenting of the fact that we are so sinful, and that He is so Great. This is how fellowship was supposed to function. The idea that we would come together and rip away our own glory in haste to give it to God, and then even repenting again. ANYTHING to give God more glory.

The other people I talk to become confused. They are confused because they have never even caught a glimpse of the Glory of God, and therefore have missed the mark for what they were created for. This is so sad. To question the simple fact that I will do anything to learn the truths of scripture, and give all the glory to God is amazing to me. If were not living for that, then we are living for ourselves, and Ive learned what a disappointment that is...

Run after God. Repent every hour. And above ALL: know that he is more abundant, more glorious, and more majestic than you could ever fathom. This is what makes Him triumphant over sin and this is what makes Him most Holy. Desire to know that, ask for that knowledge. It is a joy to know.

Amen.

Gadsby Mondays

Sorry I missed last week guys, that's my fault. But, you do have to admit I have been writing on this thing like a gangbuster...

80
Blessed are the sons of God,
They are bought with Jesus' blood;
They are ransomed from the grave
Life eternal they shall have.

God did love them in his Son
Long before the world began;
They the seal of this receive,
When in Jesus they believe.

They are justified by grace;
They enjoy a solid peace;
All their sins are washed away;
They shall stand in God's great day!

They produce the fruits of grace,
Clothed in Jesus' righteousness;
Born of God, they hate all sin;
God's pure seed remains within!

They have fellowship with God,
Through the Mediator's blood;
One with God, through Jesus one,
Glory is in them begun!

Thought they suffer much on earth,
Strangers to the worldling's mirth,
Yet they have an inward joy.
Pleasures which can never cloy.

(Romans 3:24)

First of all, Hebrew quizzes make me forget everything. Which is kindof a bummer. But thats ok, we will move on.

The great news of today is that once I make the move fully to the PCA I don't have to take a Hebrew exam for my ordination! It makes me want to do a little dance and say a prayer in Hebrew! I love learning this and even just having the beginnings of translation it has opened a lot to me about the Hebrew texts and the Old Testament.

In other news, I am a for real officer in the Navy now and have been learning about the burden of a call and what that means in my life. Everybody has been so encouraging as far as the Navy now that I'm in. It was really a fun ceremony and everyone was so excited. It was great to know that I have a ministry that I am called to and that there is a need there that God will use me to fulfill somehow.

Its made me consider the situation that I am in now. We are to be content and thankful in all things. So Ive been praying that God would show me how He is going to use these three years between now and when I will finally be able to go full time military. Ive learned that Middletown is not my burden, the Navy is. Francis Schaffer says that "not every need is a calling" and thats something that is hard learned for all of us Young Life formers...

I AM called to serve faithfully and selflessly at the Oaks with my time there. But I have the freedom of being able to serve under Kevin and assist Him in the burden that he has been given; not me... I have had two people in my life very accurately point out that the burden there is not mine. How great is that? I feel free to not worry about the things that I have no control over and just do everything I can to be the best assistant to kevin I can be, and run the soundboard to the best of my ability, and to encourage, and to follow, but not take on something that God doesnt have for me.

Im growing more and more excited for what God is going to be doing with the Oaks, with Middletown, and with me in the coming years. But lets all take joy in what the Lord has us doing. Our identity comes not from how much or little we serve in a great church like the Oaks but rather as sons, daughters, and co-heirs in Christ. That should lead us to greatness, greatness in sweeping the carpets, or handing out service bulletins, or prayerfully offering communion. Not only that, but we can be a community that promotes unity in Christ. My prayer is that the Oaks is a big group of people who are serving in everything they do to the BEST of what God has given them. Lets flee from selfish pride of wanting to be more noticed then we are, flee from gossip, and from all the false idols that have infected so many Churches across America. God will move in Middletown and Im all about joining Him in what He's doing...

Ensign Michael Luallen

Tomorrow is the big day. I finally commission as a full Naval Officer. It has been the biggest nightmare ever with paperwork, physical assessments, Secdef approval, and miles of other red tape, but I'm here.

I thought I would take the time and reflect on what Ive learned, and what it means to me to be a minister and officer in the worlds finest Navy.

1) The advocacy of Christ is largely disregarded in my own faith, and the faith of the affluent American church.
There is no other boast we have save that Christ is our advocate. To serve others and shoulder burdens for the long term, to truly lay down our lives, permanently, is something that has been lost in the church. With all my frustrations with the government I had two incredible chaplains fighting for me and representing me, and asked only that I would serve our sailors in the same way that they were serving me. I am given rank not for my own good, but that I would have the power to do good for others and represent the lowest seaman apprentice who feels as though his voice was lost. We all have that power in Christ.

2) I am called for a purpose, Gods purpose.
In all of my roadblocks to becoming an officer I learned that I was doing this not for the glory of the uniform, or the comfort of the government benefits, but rather because I was called to minister to sailors and marines. It has meant everything to know my calling and my purpose. It has given me strength and resolve at school and through work. I pray that I will remain faithful to the mission that God has put on my life and that He would finish the work that He has started in me. I feel so blessed to be called and have a purpose and it is my prayer that God reveals to all of his elect what their purpose is. If you don't know now, you will, so take heart, because we all were created to fulfill the will and ends of God.

and we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

3) I am a part of something larger than myself and my wants.
October 13, 1775-Navy Birthday. John Paul Jones- Father of the American Navy. November 11, 1775- Marine Corps Birthday. Chesty Puller- only Marine to receive 5 Navy Crosses. Bloodstripe- Red stripe on Marine uniforms to symbolize the blood of those who died at Chapultepec...

I could go on with information I have to know for OIS. But needless to say I'm serving something that is beyond myself, my nation, or my era. When I put on the Navy Uniform I represent something bigger than myself. More importantly, when I put that cross on my collar I represent the most important thing of all. The redemptive work of God in the world. I am a part of a priesthood of believers across time. God has ordained me (and all believers) to go and preach His word and has promised that He will be with us always in that mission. This isn't about me, so I will go where God wants me to go.

4) Spiritual warfare is real, and is happening now, all over the world.
Sailors, Marines, chaplains, doctors, and civilians all over the world are being confronted with sin that we are isolated from on a daily basis. Sin that isn't personal, but is a result of a fallen world. They cry out and struggle with things unimaginable to me and most of us here in the states. I fear being there, I fear seeing kids being hurt, I fear having to pray for a fallen Marine and not knowing who he was or anything about him, and I fear the truth that I dont understand on this side of the cross that I must give to his buddies. God must be bigger than we can imagine because Ive heard the stories of unimaginable and unexplainable sin. As much as I fear those things, it is that fear that makes me run to God, which I wish I did more anyway.

God MUST be bigger than we can fathom. Because he deals with this sin. He is redeeming His creation. And His Kingdom WILL come and will be on earth as it is in heaven.

Praise God.

Let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall. 1 Corinthians 10:12

Life is good. Ive been so blessed in a million ways, and several big ones recently. I study, I read, I pray, but something still wasn't totally right for me. I was missing something in the equation, God wasn't as big as He should be...

Enter C H Spurgeon.

"But to finish this delineation of a presumptuous man- Pride is the most pregnant cause of presumption. In all its various shapes it is the fountain of carnal security."

Carnal security. That is exactly what I was overlooking. Why is it that the moment things are going good, the need to take control kicks in and we fall? In a single word, pride. Spurgeon highlights three specific types of pride: pride of talent, pride of grace, and pride of privileges.

What is it that would ever make us believe that we deserve, earned, or are owed the things that we have in our life? Even the knowledge of Grace and God are given to us through the mercy and wisdom of God through His son. Oh that we would boast in Christ alone! How differently would we look if instead of pride in our very DNA we learned to give God his glory in all things.

We are secured in Christ alone. Through no other fount are we restored. I pray that God would just remove this pride that is so deeply ingrained in me, but that it is here is to His Glory as well. Be on guard, hold each other accountable from this corruptible sin. Our church is not ours, our salvation is for God, and our blessings are gifts.

To even think that my studying, reading, and praying would buy me justification in the eyes of God is the most egregious display of pride I could have. We must preach the Gospel to one another constantly and be on guard for the sin that can cause us to fall.

I pray that we would rejoice in the fact that God has removed this sin from the church. That He is more powerful than even my own deceitful heart. And that all the Glory is His.

In case you wondered what the Navy was up to.

United States Naval Divers from Navy Mobile Diving and Salvage Unit 2 preparing to enter the water at the site of the Bridge collapse at I-35.

These highly trained divers are experts at high current, confined space diving. They have been called in to remove wreckage for investigation, cars, and the bodies of those deceased in the collapse.

This is Americas finest. Pray for them and all of our Sailors, Marines, and Soldiers around the world.

That they would know that their sacrifice for our nation pales in comparison to the one who has sacrificed for them.

That they would find peace, courage, comfort, and constancy in the advocacy of Christ.

That they would fight first for the Kingdom of God around the world, secondly for their families, and then for our flag.

That they would be granted protection from stray bullets, IEDs, and other unknown hazards.

That those who have fallen would have sacrificed for a real advancement of peace in the warring regions of the world.

For hope, in a joy in Christ, one that no sorrow can shake, and no other happiness can compete with.

Gadsby Mondays

76
There is a period known to God
When all his sheep, redeemed by blood,
Shall leave the hateful ways of sin,
Turn to the fold, and enter in.

At peace with hell, with God at war,
In sin's dark maze they wander far,
Indulge their lust, and still go on
As far from God as sheep can run.

But see how heaven's indulgent care
Attends their wanderings here and there;
Still hard at heel where'er they stray,
With pricking throrns to hedge their way.

When wisdom calls, they stop their ear,
And headlong urge the mad career;
Judgements nor mercies ne'er can sway
Their roving feet to wisdom's way.

Glory to God, they ne'er shall rove
Beyond the limits of his love;
Fenced with Jehovah's shalls and wills,
Firm as the everlasting hills.

The appointed time rolls on apace,
Not to propose but call by Grace;
To change the heart, renew the will,
And turn the feet to Zion's hill.

(Psalm 102:13, 110:3, Ezekial 34:11-16)

What a final verse... How great the power of God, that he would have dominion over sin, death, and my heart is the greatest blessing of all. How amazing and aweful is the effectual call of God!

The Assumed Miracles

I was reading "On the Incarnation" by Athanasius and he really brings it home concerning the need for the cross, why the cross was perfect, and why God had to come to earth in the first place (in bodily form, God is always over his creation).

I was struck with the awesome fact that GOD, our God and creator... became a man!?!?! How awesome and great is that miracle alone??? GOD became a MAN! That shouldnt happen! Why would God do that?

THAT is what love is.

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Philippians 2:5-8

Ive definately been taking it for granted what a miracle that is, and how great our God is. BUT, it gets better... GOD, that same God we were talking about before, not only became incarnate...



...He died.

Wrap your head around that.

August is for Augustine

Well actually that's not true, August is for Augustus Caesar... but this will work for my purposes. I am currently reading the Confessions and have been thinking a lot recently about what it will be like to be before the King with nothing but the truth of our sin and the imputed righteousness of Christ before us. How scary and awesome is the love of Christ!!!

Augustine has a great prayer to God concerning the reality of our sin:
"The house of my soul is too small for you to enter: make it more spacious by your coming. It lies in ruins: rebuild it. Some things are to be found there which will offend your gaze; I confess this to be so and know it will. But who will clean my house? To whom but yourself can I cry, cleanse me of my hidden sins, O Lord, and for those incurred through others pardon your servant?"

The reality of our sin is such that we can do nothing apart from Christ which will please the Father or bring him the Glory that we were made to give to Him. I must admit this scares me immensely. I know the hatred that God has for sin and for the sin in my life.

In 2 Samuel 6 you can see this in the death of Uzzah. All he did was try and right the falling ark of the covenant. But it is the very audacity that we might approach the holiness of God on our own that results in the wages of sin, death...

Oh how great is the advocacy of Christ! That we could go before the Father and be able to point to Christ for our righteousness! That Christ died for you (and me) and all we need is Faith in God. This is love... that God would give His only son.

Repent! for the kingdom of God is at hand. Christ has come and He lives today. He reigns and there will come a time when he will come again. When we are before the Father we will know our sin in full, but we will know that it was all placed on the cross. Enter into that knowledge now! Because if we are really here to give God His glory, lets do it as His righteous people. As co-heirs with Christ.